Cholo's Pad

2011 In Review

2012-01-31T04:12:00.000-08:00

I haven't written in a while. I was just reminded by one of my friends who is just starting his own site. Well, he is doing it professionally or at least something like it. I used to be very uncomfortable being alone but actually, that is the time that I write.

For the past 2 months I have never been alone. It's either I'm always with friends, family or work. What i learned in my almost 6 years away from home is that being alone is not so bad after all, well not in the long haul at least. Sometimes finding solace from silence and hibernation helps. Now that I can "enjoy" my alone time, I can look back of the year that was, the year of the rabbit, the year of 2011.

It was a year that I was thinking of dropping everything and go home. When I felt so drained from Shanghai and all of the things that go with it. When I had enough of people leaving me and try making new friends. When I had enough of fighting slow internet and online censorship through finding loopholes on how to access Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Blogspot among others. When I had enough of commuting to places I want to go and get pissed by not being able to get a taxi on a Friday Rush Hour. When I had enough of the language barrier that prevents me on completely expressing what I want to express.

I had all my shirts and pants folded, ready to be placed in a bag and shipped back to Manila. I had enough money to start a small scale business and go for broke. I was not buying canned goods, banana catsup, rubbing alcohol and Lysol from Manila before going back to Shanghai. This was the very same time last year when I got my Masters Diploma and looking at places to visit like Beijing (yes I've never been to Beijing). Xi'an (home of the Terracotta Warriors), Tibet (to visit the Dalai Lama) and Chongqing (to see the pandas).

I kept on telling myself that if I don't have a real reason to stay like a job that I really like doing, since my parents had been bugging me to go back for good, then I'll just drop everything and buy a ticket back to Manila.

Come March 2011, when I was conditioning myself to go back come 3 offers that made me stop my plans and reconsider. My boss back then whom I really enjoyed working for offered me a new department to start and build from scratch and to top it all off, he said yes to all that is on my wishlist. It was awesome! It was something that I'm really good at. It seemed to good to be true. The only down side was he had 2 egotistical maniacs who treat my other colleagues like shit. But to me he is fair, he is nice. I don't know why but he just is.

Then there was a relocation offer that doubled what was on my wishlist. Although it is in Chongqing, land of the pandas. I mean I want to go there and visit but not live there. Sure the money was there, I can just save, hibernate for 2 years (yes there was a bond), and then go back. Ummmm, not happening.

And finally, an offer from my first ever boss whom I really believe in, until now, that sold me dreams and promises when I was 22 years old and wanted me to spearhead his operations here in Shanghai. I was taking less money, I was risking a lot of uncertainties. It was not really a happy ending when I left. My parents are advising me not to take it and take the first offer from my current employer at that time. But I did not listen. Typical Pocholo Neri. And I took it! Yes I dove!

Why you might ask? I just believe in their cause, their ambition, their plans, what they had to offer, and I know I am wired to do this kind of work. It's a place that I can be great. A place that I can be Michael Jordan and not Scottie Pippen. It's a place that I can be Shawn Michaels and not Marty Janetty. It's a place that I can be Batman and not Robin.

As of April 18, 2011, I was heading the China Operations for Dragon Edge Group-China Co. Ltd.

Then I went home to relax. Saw 2 of my closest friends, one from high school and one from college and for some weird reason, we were not in a bar having beers like we used to. We were at a freaking coffee shop at Fort Bonifacio on a weeknight drinking coffee while I was working at my plans for my new job telling them that I was not ready to go back when one one of them saw presented this idea that we should open a restaurant franchise of Chic-Boy. The very next day, that stubborn friend of mine worked his ass off and made it happen.

By May Cinco Koneho Inc. was approved as a franchisee and started construction and by late August 2011, Chic-Boy Sta. Lucia was opened.

All in all it was a good year for me. I lost 40 pounds since the previous year, got my Masters Degree in Business, doing a job that I love and opened a business without being dry financially. Not bad, not bad at all. I hope all other aspects will be better as this Year of the Dragon of 2012 runs. Hope everything will be sustainable. Hope everything will be great. Hope that I can start doing a Michael Jordan, Shawn Michaels and Batman!

Take a peek inside the first sperm bank in northwestern China!

2011-11-09T18:39:00.001-08:00

Take a peek inside the first sperm bank in northwestern China!

By Horace Lu
Shaanxi Province's Maternity and Child Care Center (陕西省妇幼保健院) has set up the first sperm bank in northwestern China. Men come to this sperm bank not only to donate their baby batter for infertile couples, but also to save them for future use (like if they get run over by a taxi before they successfully knock up their wives). A group of journalists checked out the sperm bank and took the following photos.
Enjoy!
The light board says "Do not disturb", which means someone is inside the donation room.

The sperm bank based in Xi'an, Shaanxi, is the first one in NW China. Donors first have to fill forms in the reception room.

Donors have to fill a form about his personal information (left) and an agreement form (right) He also has to bring his diploma and ID card.

A pair of disposable gloves nurses use when examining donors. We're not sure if the nurses around here are male or female.

Drugs.

On the wall, the photo of a Chinese beauty and a media player to pump out the porn while donors beat their bishops. Not sure if you're allowed to bring your own porn.

A piece of disposable disinfected cloth on the sofa in the donation room

A window connects the donation room to the sperm lab. Once done, donors pass their fresh baby batter through the window, which by the way, is opaque.

Doctors receive the baby batter from this window.

Lots of machines inside the sperm lab to examine the little gremlins in the baby batter, and to see if there are any yucky viruses lurking among them.

Economics Running Through My Veins

2011-08-28T12:42:00.000-07:00

I came from a crazy background of Economists in the Philippines. An institution that prides ourselves as the best in the country. Where professors are arrogant for they come from renowned universities around the globe. Other schools might contest but I would like to consider ourselves as part of the "Aristocrat Family" of the field.

I remember getting paid for doing a term paper for a senior from a dreaded rival school as a junior student. Ego boost times 100. He tried refuting what I did to no avail. One of my arrogant moments that I still laugh upon when I remember with people who can attest to it.

This was how we were wired back in college. We took pride and will contest every single detractor and challenge them to a showdown. Sure I wasn't the best in my pack but I had experiences that made me part of the elite.

I buried this when I graduated. It came out when I studied my Masters. It was Intermediate Microeconomics. I didn't understand a single thing that was said since it was all in Chinese and back in the day when my Chinese sucked! All I saw was a remembrance of the equation that was forced into my brain. Then I said to myself, "Ah! Larangian! Partial derivative of blah blah blah..." So I fell into a trance. Wrote the whole equation with my professor stopping me from finishing the whole thing since he only wanted the first step. My classmates were laughing. Some were surprised. Some were looking at me in a dirty way. It was an honest mistake. I didn't mean to brag. I took that test 4 times. Failing 3 before acing it. That;s how I remembered.

At times even if I try to bury it deep in my brain, at times it comes out. It maybe good or bad depending on the situation. All I know is, It is part of me. Wired to be that way.

Then just now, I wake up from my sleep. Hard to go back without taking this out of my chest.

I have a different equation. This is about time. The way I spend my time. And maybe yours too. Applicable to life, love and everything else. It's just is.

Aggregate Demand (AD) = Consumption (C) + Investment (I) + Government Spending (G) + [Export (E) - Import (M)]

GDP also have the same formula just focused on different variables. I don't mean to be too geeky. This concept suddenly came to my mind:

OUTPUT = Consumed Time + Invested Time + Public Time Spent + (Time Given To Others - Time Other People Give You)

More soon...

Seasons

2011-08-17T21:57:00.000-07:00

We had a lot of good times, you and I,
Something special just happened on the fly;
It felt so good and just so right,
You filled my dark tunnel with a shinny bright light.

I wake up every morning with a big smile on my face,
Not a hurricane nor a forest wild fire can ever erase;
Every single moment of the day I thought of you,
Imagining life without you, I wouldn't know what to do.

Then something unexplainable happened one day,
Didn't know what it was but you pushed me away;
I was so shocked and froze, didn't know what to say,
Waiting for your mind to change, I stayed at bay.

Sleepless nights, mind's going crazy,
Emotional wreck, everything was hazy;
Then when I finally realized its not meant to be,
I picked up the pieces and set myself free.

Game Changers

2011-08-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

There are things that happen along the way that may change outcomes of sports events, business endeavors, or plain and simple life. These are game changers. At one point of something, you might might be on your highest high and in a blink of an eye, you are at the bottom of the pit; or the other way around. This might be a cause of making a stupid decision in general, an unfortunate circumstance or just plain boredom. These things are either controllable or uncontrollable. They just happen. Mostly when you are caught off guard.

Sometimes, a sign is given to you since everything seems so right at one moment then goes so wrong in a snap. Weird, but it does happen. I think it just happened to me a few days back or well, maybe not. A series of events happened last month that brought me down a bit. They are all 'fixable'. I learned from them. A simple "." can disrupt a whole business operation. A simple miscalculation of your limits can cause embarrassment and distraught. But ey, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger (as long as you don't repeat them).

There are game changers that are favorable, pleasant, exciting. But oftentimes the ones that hurt are the ones you remember. The bad outweigh the good, very common. This is the point where people get stuck in. Crap. It's hard to do but one has to man up, suck it in and do something about it. We can change the game ourselves and use it in our favor. Sulking is good for a certain time but without doing anything about it, ummm... not so good.

Honestly, there are a lot of things that are unclear to me now. I don't know how to change the game to favor me. This is in life. In business, you cannot be hopeless or else, you'll sink. Professionally, I got my swag back. Personally, I'm a bit rusty. What's gonna happen to me, I'm actually not sure but one thing is certain, the ball bounces around. And when I see it bounce to my court, it's either gonna be a big three or a monster dunk.

I need to catch fire... And I need to do so soon!

Ibayong Dagat

2011-08-04T11:21:00.000-07:00

I missed writing in Filipino. Sometimes there is more emotion in every word. When cursing, when someone tells you to 'F*** Off' and then you reply with 'P*tang Ina Mo' you can make them feel very uncomfortable. Filipinos are known to just smile their problems away. But they way they use words, well some of those who still know how to speak Filipino at least, you can have a sense of what they want to say.

I remember doing essays in the past in Filipino. Sometimes it becomes deeper, funnier, crazier. I'll try to replicate this now. Being away from home, sometimes you miss your language. And at this time and age where 'Tag-lish' is very prominent, most Filipinos tend to forget the language itself.

If you don't understand what I'm writing next, well... Sorry. If you do, you might still be part of the few that has yet to forget the language that is spoken in the country you are living in.

Here I go...

Minsan, napakahirap mawalay sa iyong pamilya. Simula ng pagkamusmos ng isang bata, lalo na sa Pilipinas, ikaw ay nasanay na sumandal sa puder ng iyong mga magulang. Sila ang nagbibigay sayo ng lahat ng iyong pangangailangan. Sila ang sumusuporta sa iyong mga kakulangan, nakikisalo sa iyong kaligayahan at nagpapangaral at sumasaway sa iyong mga pagkakamali.

Ako ay mag aapat na taon lang wala sa aking bayang sinilangan. Nahiwalay sa pamilya, sa mga matatalik na kaibigan, sa malalapit na mga ka-anak, sa aking mga minamahal. Napakaraming pagbabago ang naranasan ko sa aking pagkawala. Kung minsan hindi na makasabay sa mga kasalukuyang katuwaan ng mgataong naiwan sa bansang nilisan.

Ang bawat uwi ay may bahid na lungkot at kasiyahan. Kasiyahan dahil sabik kang makita ang mga taong iniwan. Sabik sa mga pagkain na dati'y nakasanayan at ngayo'y inaasam. Sabik sa lugar na lahat ng tao'y ikaw ay maiintindihan mapa-wika man o kultura. Lungkot dahil hindi mo alam kung ikaw ay babalikan ng mga problemang iyong tinalikuran. Lungkot dahil alam mo sa bawat palit ng kalendaryo, napakaraming mga pangyayari na naranasan nila at wala kang kaalam-alam kung ano ang mga ito.

Ngunit paglapag mo sa lugar na iyong pinagmulan, naglalaho ang lahat ng problema at ikaw ay mapapangiti. Ikaw ay nagmamadaling makalabas, makauwi, makita ng mga taong iyong pinapahalagahan. Napapawi ang pagod ng byahe. Nangingibabaw ang sabik at kasihayan hanggang bumagsak sa isipan na lahat ng iyong pinangangambahan ay nandiyan lang sa gilid ng iyong paningin. Iiwas sa mga dapat iwasan, lalapit sa mga malalapit sa iyong puso. Magsasalaysay ng mga karanasan sa ibang bansa, maging ito'y kaaya-aya o kaya'y kalungkot lungkot. Gagastos ng hindi naman dati ginagastusan tutal minsan ka lang naman uuwi. Gagawin ang lahat upang pasayahin ang sarili at ang mga tao sa iyong paligid na sya 'ring iiwan pagkalipas ng ilang saglit.

Matapos ang lahat ay oras ng bumalik sa katotohanan. Maaring maging malungkot dahil ikaw ay muling mawawalay sa bansang nagmamay-ari ng iyong kamusmusan, puso't isipan. Maari rin namang galak dahil inaalala ang mga pangyayaring nagbigay sa'yo ng magagandang alaala.

Napakahirap di ba. Hindi lahat ay puno ng saya. Mayroong mga araw na napupuno ng kalungkutan. Ngunit kailangan gawin, kailangan tiisin dahil ang kapalit ay kinabukasan. Kapalit ay kaginhawaan. Kapalit ay pang matagalang kaligayahan.

Sa kasalukuyan ako'y masaya pa naman sa aking pinaroroonan. Ngunit kung minsan, kapag nag-iisa ay sinusumpong ng kalungkutan. Subalit alam ko na bukas iba nanaman ang aking tatahakin, para sa kinabukasang mapapasaakin.

Birds to get angry in China

2011-07-31T15:32:00.000-07:00

Whoah!!! Look what I stumbled across... This is how BIG the China Market is!

ANGRY Birds, one of the most popular games played by users of mobile devices, is flying into China with new games specially designed for the country and branded products that will include themed mooncakes.

Chinese fans will be able to buy various products in stores or online within "coming months," Rovio Entertainment, the game's developer, said during Chinajoy, the games expo which ended in Shanghai yesterday.

"Angry Birds will continue its magic in China. We recognize the uniqueness of China and our Chinese fans," Peter Vesterbacka, Rovio's chief marketing officer, said at a forum during the event.

Angry Birds downloads have reached more than 300 million globally and Finland-based Rovio expects 100 million downloads in China by the end of the year, Vesterbacka said.

Among its plans for China, Rovio is developing a new "Moon Festival" episode for Angry Birds Seasons to be available by the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival.

Rovio is also to partner with Shanghai-based firm Madhouse which will provide mobile advertising content.

Mobile games have become more and more popular with the increased use of smart phones and the 3G network, industry insiders said, and the Angry Birds series of games has been among the top 3 paid applications in Apple's App Store for several months.

Rovio is hoping to expand the Angry Birds brand beyond the games sector, especially in China. It plans to open 100 stores on the Chinese mainland to sell franchised products and a line of Angry Birds shoes is to be sold at Letao, an online shoe company.

Mooncakes with an Angry Birds theme will also be available in China, the company said.

In the digital entertainment sector, Angry Birds as a brand ranks No. 3 in China behind Disney and Hello Kitty, Vesterbacka said, and the company envisaged a Disney-like expansion with Angry Birds films and books.

Rovio has opened an office in Shanghai and it is "recruiting people all the time," the company said.

Source: http://www.shanghaidaily.com/nsp/National/2011/08/01/Birds%2Bto%2Bget%2Bangry%2Bin%2BChina/

Changes Happen

2011-07-23T12:06:00.000-07:00

我今天跟我中学朋友们一起去玩了。我觉得很高兴可是很奇怪。我很长时间在上海了。没有认识他们了。开心是开心可是我感觉不一样的。有很多很多变化了。他们觉得一样可是我感觉不一样了。这天好玩。开心。很有意思。可是。。。但是。。。

End Of An Era

2011-07-21T08:37:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite shows will come to an end this season. But this is not what this is about. Although its something similar. Its the end of an era. An era that had a 4 year lifespan. I thought a 5th installment was inevitable. But I guess that's for another series. This one on the other hand is over. We came to the finale tonight. Our last ride as a whole unit. Our own entourage.

It was a great ride. But everything has a start and an end. Its just sinking in. It sucks yet fulfilling. We are ending with Masters Degrees. It is ending how its supposed to. Not ultimately how I want to though.

Nevertheless this is the end. Time to move on. We'll always be brothers wherever we may be. Who knows our paths might cross again. But until then, we have our experiences, our memories and our brotherhood to keep forever!

Feels Like Im In School Again

2011-07-19T12:59:00.000-07:00

My Economics Thesis is one of the hardest things I ever done in my life. Blood, sweat, and tears that in turn followed by sleepless nights. This was also the start of my coffee addiction. This was also how a bond was formed between 4 crazy people. The best thing about it was, even if things were hard and we were pushed to our boiling points, we never argued. We finished everything, we stuck with each other for a common cause. And after everything, we have that experience to treasure, cherish and relive. As I did with one of my "partners in crime" a few months back.

It's 4am and I'm still awake. We just finished a part of our presentation for next week's Business Review. I feel like its Eco Thesis Season all over again. The feeling is awesome. I have 2 of the most supportive and capable people with me making things happen, working their magic. Sure there are rough ends here and there but we settled these glitches professionally. All's well so far.

We haven't really worked together before this project but it seems like we are meshing well. We don't have the luxury of time since they are scheduled to go back tomorrow night, actually tonight and this is the only time we have to really collaborate face to face.

The sun is about to rise in a few minutes and we have our day planned already. It's time to put things on a halt for a few hours and then proceed in finishing the blueprint on how to attack this wicked playground in a few ours.

Good times! Let's Rock and Roll!!! :)

Reality Check! It's not cheap to live in Shanghai

2011-07-18T12:01:00.000-07:00

Tokyo is still the world’s most expensive city to live in and Oslo and Osaka still make the top five, but the Worldwide Cost of Living 2011 survey just released from the Economist Intelligence Unit also revealed some dramatic changes in the last year.

Australia has become one of the biggest risers, with the strong Aussie dollar lifting costs in Sydney (6th most expensive city), Melbourne (7^th), Perth (13^th) and Brisbane (14^th) to their highest levels.

Europe accounts for half the top 50 most expensive cities, with Paris in fourth spot, Zurich in fifth and Frankfurt and Geneva in eighth and ninth.

More than US$7 for bread in Moscow, less than US$3 in London.

The survey shows how economies have shifted over the past 10 years, with especially Asian cities becoming cheaper. Hong Kong, from third place 10 years ago is now 22^nd, Shanghai falls from 16^th to 48^th and Beijing falls from 11^th to 64^th.

Some Asian countries whose economies have shifted up the gears have bucked this trend however. Bangkok, the 108^th most expensive city in 2001 is now the 66^th. Jakarta moves up 35 spots from 2001 to 77^th.

American cities have also generally moved down the rankings, with New York only just squeaking into the top 50, in 49th spot. New York is now cheaper than Chicago and Los Angeles while Atlanta, the United States' cheapest city, is on a par with Kiev in Ukraine.

“Although inflation in Japan has been stagnant for a long time, the rapid strengthening of the Yen in recent years has fuelled the relative cost of living in Japanese cities," says Jon Copestake, editor of the Worldwide Cost of Living survey. "This trend is also evidenced by the contrary movement of other Asian cities. Hong Kong and China, which peg their currencies to the US dollar, have seen the relative cost of living fall as the US dollar has declined from highs of 2001.

“That said, many of these cities have seen local inflation rising and it is interesting to note that Shanghai has now become a more expensive location than New York and Washington DC in the United States."

Top 10 cities in Worldwide Cost of Living Index

1. Tokyo
2. Oslo
3. Osaka
4. Paris
5. Zurich
6. Sydney
7. Melbourne
8. Frankfurt
9. Geneva
10. Singapore

Bottom 5 cities

129. New Delhi
130. Tehran
131. Mumbai
132. Tunis
133. Karachi

Some interesting comparisons:

A loaf of bread costs:

US$7.61 in Moscow
US$7.42 in Tokyo
US$6.06 in New York
US$3.35 in Berlin
US$2.36 in London

A pack of cigarettes costs:

US$15.11 in Oslo
US$10.79 in London
US$8.99 in New York
US$5.99 in Madrid
US$1.85 in Moscow

A daily business trip costs:
(Where daily business trip comprises one night's accommodation in a hotel, one two-course meal, one simple meal, two five-kilometer journeys by taxi, one drink in the hotel bar and one international foreign daily newspaper)

US$746.21 in New York
US$626.87 in Sydney
US$610 in Paris
US$554.87 in Hong Kong
US$518.20 in London
US$452.28 in Singapore
US$375.46 in Tokyo
US$315.62 in Mexico City

Notable points in the 2011 survey:

The biggest rise in the past twelve months is Budapest, Hungary, up 17 places to 76
The sharpest drop is Istanbul, Turkey, down 24 places to 52
American cities generally drop down the rankings -- New York is now the 49^th most costly world city
Australia’s five main cities all rise, with four now in the top 15
Half of the top 50 most expensive cities in the world are in Europe

Another Set of Goodbyes

2011-07-04T14:08:00.000-07:00

I've been here in Shanghai for almost four years. What started as a year of "just learning the language" became "a masters degree" and then to "a full time career". Don't get me wrong, its not that I'm in a good place in terms of my career but every time this time of the year comes, its always one of the saddest. It's goodbye time once again.

A lot of people left me throughout the four years that I have been here. Some who are very dear to my heart. Some who I always see when I go home, some I barely communicate anymore and some even not at all. At times it might be my fault. Other times, its just too difficult to catch up due to difference in timezones and the other changes that happen in our lives.

This year of goodbyes was one of the hardest ones ever. It started a few months back when one who was very close to me went home. Although we still communicate frequently, there are times that its different. Two of my closest friends in school will also bid their farewells this month. One did already last night. What sucks most is that these two started here the same way as me; been through the same hardships that I undertook in school; we changed together from stupid laowais to someone whom you can't trick anymore.

I learned more than their cultures. I learned more than their languages. I learned how to adapt and be more open to everything.

I smile when I remember how we eat lunch together and we would not fit in 2 tables. Then it became 1 table and now barely fitting a short one. I smile when I remember how we made fun of each other with things that will make people who are unfamiliar with each other awkward.

I know I said that I am used to the goodbyes. Although once in a while it still pierces my heart. Yes I still have a heart. This one though pierces deeper than the others. This marks the end of our journey. The real end of the school chapter of my life. Will our paths still cross each other after this, that I do not know. What I do know is I will treasure all the memories we shared, the learnings we yearned and earned, the experiences which shaped us to what we are today.

Bon voyage my friends! I'll miss all of you. It may be the end of one of our journeys but I do hope to see you in another one.

我勘定想你们。我很高兴认识你们。比如说有机会的话，我们再联系一下。谢谢你们！我不能忘记你们！再见！ :)

Good Stress

2011-07-01T12:16:00.000-07:00

I haven't been sleeping soundly lately. I wake up worrying about a lot of things. The same happened last night. I slept at 7 in the morning, woke up an hour and a half later, then I was on troubleshooting mode. Made a self-imposed ban on social network stuff. Focused on what I want to be done for that day. I have this habit of planning ahead. Not 1, 2, 3 or 4 steps ahead. I try to plan 5 steps ahead. At times I tend to cheat myself with this habit but most of the time, I do my best in doing so.

I was over-thinking a lot of things. A little something that is fishy and I tend to be very suspicious. It can be both good and bad. Today I was stressed. I was troubleshooting something that is not really broken but just a bit fishy. I remember my colleague say, doing business in China is wicked. True that! Really friggin' wicked.

During the afternoon I achieved what I want to achieve. I was a bit relaxed. But God I smoked too much. As I smoked a sort of relief cigarette, I smiled. Rewind 2007, here we go again! I felt the same stress I did before and I like it. It keeps me going. It challenges me.

Sure a lot of things changed. I'm doing things differently, carefully. I'm no longer a loose cannon, well maybe not that loose anyway. Maybe its maturity, maybe its growing up.

It was a good kind of stress for me. This ride is getting interesting by the minute. Time to relax a bit. Sip a few whiskey-amarettos (The Godfather), chill a bit and brace up for another week! Good times! :)

Here There and Everywhere

2011-06-12T07:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the most random things make you smile. Sometimes you don't know when it will come, where it will come. It just hits you when you are not looking. Sure it doesn't solve anything but it gives you hope.

Never give up on anything. Just keep your eyes and ears open and allow the element of surprise to enter your door or your window.

Good times! :)

Things Change And So Do We

2011-06-08T11:38:00.000-07:00

I was scanning through some old stuff today. Old emails, old pictures, old blogs, old everything. Old meaning 2004-2006. That was B.C. for me. Well not really before Christ, but before China. A lot has changed both figuratively and literally.

PHASE I: E-MAILS:

I was kind of laughing when I was reading through what I had been writing. The way I answer e-mails at the workplace, answering my friends, my relatives and my colleagues. I was more choosy with the way I portray my emotions, I was more fierce and filled with attitude in getting what I want. But irregardless, I can sense the frustrations I had even if I try to re-word them. It showed my immaturity but the hunger and drive was still there. I was like Pacquiao during his times at Blow-By-Blow (sports reference, and an old one). All offense, no defense. I was strong but not so much technique. It's all brute force.

PHASE II: PICTURES

I know I friggin gained weight but I didn't imagine that it would be this much. I was never thin. I was leaner especially when I played basketball but damn! I was like, whoa! What the hell happened?! I was carefree that led to me being careless. I abused my body. I was eating the same way as when I was playing ball, then I started drinking and smoking and KABOOM!!! Here I am. And now this is a real wake up call! I REALLY need to tone down!I always joke around that CIRCLE IS A SHAPE and I AM IN SHAPE but actually, I'm in BAD SHAPE!

PHASE III: BLOGGING

I had a cut-throat style mixed with sensitivity and poetry. Ironic isn't it! Until now I still carry that but a little bit watered down. Equipped with more wisdom but less animosity. I was a very angry person before. I was an ass! Well technically I'm still one but a mellowed down one. Something happened along the way that I became someone who is not so harsh. I cannot pinpoint it as of the moment but, IT JUST HAPPENED. I was looking at the way I described my adventures, my experiences, my failures; and again, I was a real angry man. I know I have a narcissistic personality but I was more narcissistic before. I laughed so loud alone when I read how I referred to myself in a 3rd person state. I felt I was a wrestling character who was a face turned heel then back to a face (Wrestling reference, a FACE is a good guy and a HEEL is the bad guy).

Its nice what technology can do. It's kind of an anthology of my life a few years ago. I felt like I was watching a Reality TV Show. My own version of the Wonder Years (Yes, I caught it this afternoon which was a coincidence).

PHASE IV: FAST FORWARD

I have changed! I have changed a lot. I have priorities. Better ones I believe. That is the reason I'm still in China. That's the reason why I'm working in this field where I am now. I know what I want and what path I'll take to get there... For now (NEVER say NEVER). Last year I had dinner with my current boss (Forgive me, I just had to refer to you as BOSS), when I was not yet with the company. I was confused. I know what I want to attain, but I didn't know how to get there. I shared it with him. I was not giving bullshit. A part of me wanted to go home, a part of me wanted to stay in Shanghai.

Now, its a bit clearer. I know that I'll work and do a business on the side, which technically I'm handling 2 businesses. I treat my work as my own. The only difference is there are others that are helping me with it. I don't have a monetary stake. But still I treat is as mine. If he gets rich, I get rich. If he gets a respectable sum of success, I get the same. Its a good deal for me since we run on the same bandwidth.

I'm starting a business with my friends. People who were always at my side one part or another of my life. People who were part of my failures and my achievements. People who understand how I operate in any circumstance. Of course we don't really agree on everything but that's the reason we are working together, we bring different skill sets on the table. We are like the core of the Laker Team which one 3 straight championships (There are scorers who can erupt anytime, players who can step up during crunch times, key players who are willing to pass the ball to win. AND EVERYBODY PLAYS DEFENSE!).

I figured out that part of my life for now. I know the other parts that will make me whole will follow very very soon. It's the phase of my life that things begin to unfold, cards are dealt and now, its up to me on how to play them.

A lot of things changed. Some of them made me better, some of them made me worse. But the better ones outweigh the bad ones. Its just a matter of balancing them and eventually changing the negatives into positives.

I will never be perfect. Not even close but I'll make sure that I would not step on so much toes to get what I want and need.

This is the revised me. Version 1.2 or OS 2 or whatever. For sure I will still change (Like Apple coming out with new iOS'). I hope its for the better. But for now, deal with the Present Cholo. I'll be like Barney (HIMYM). I'll end this by writing a short letter to the future me so that when I look back in a few years, I know where I was. This is the last one, bear with me. :)

PHASE V: THE LETTER

Dear Future Cholo,

You were a very angry man when you were 21-24 years old. You have changed for mostly better. If you are an ass now, hit your head to the wall 3 times and squeeze your nuts. You failed me. If you are still not making more than 3x you are making last 2011, you should be ashamed of yourself! Slap your face 10 times so that you'll wake up. If you do make that amount or more, smile and pat yourself 10 times for a great job.

Take care of your family. Treat your wife like a queen. You were raised that way. Love your kids like crazy. Take care of your parents and brothers. Respect your colleagues, business partners and subordinates. Treat them fairly. And lastly, don't forget Saint Anne's Church that you promise to build every time you pray.

If you don't do all of these, I'll come back and kick your ass when you never expect it! hahaha!

Cholo (2011)

A Full Plate

2011-06-06T08:57:00.000-07:00

This is what my plate looks like tomorrow. It's not what I'm gonna eat but its because of my tasks. Full mode on tomorrow. I'm more organized than ever. I know what I'm going to do and how I'll do it. the problem is WHEN??? Time is of essence. I'm getting very impatient. I'm here to make sure things are done and done the best way possible, so I schedule; I prioritize.

Then,

My team asked for an "express" delivery for our documents to be processed in China from DHL last Thursday. Today is Monday... It's still not with me. I need it to be processed tomorrow. I was trained to under-promise and over-deliver. I hate incompetence. Don't promise something that you can't do.

The last time I checked, EXPRESS means:

Definition of EXPRESS via Merriam-Webster

1a : directly, firmly, and explicitly stated express orders> b : exact, precise

2a : designed for or adapted to its purpose b : of a particular sort : specific express purpose>

3a : traveling at high speed; specifically : traveling with few or no stops along the way <express train> b : adapted or suitable for travel at high speed express highway> c British : designated to be delivered without delay by special messenger

Tonight, I'll sleep on the couch. I'll wait for our package just in case they arrive "EARLY"! Everything is ready! I hope it will be here soon!

RIP Macho Man

2011-05-31T21:52:00.000-07:00

I've been a wrestling fan since I was a kid. I was spanked because I mimicked what I saw, I watched live shows, I talked like them with my friends. From the Hulkamaniacs era to a De-Generate to Austin 3:16, Smell what the Rock is cookin'? Up to the You can't see me and I'm Awesome!

A lot has changed over the years. I used to wonder why nobody got up when Hogan delivers his patented leg drop. When Andre the Giant delivered it, people stood up. Weird.

A lot of these wrestlers were part of my childhood. Bret Hart, HBK, Ric Flair, Bob Backlund, Texas Tornado, Million Dollar Man, Bobby The Brain Heenan, Ultimate Warrior, Undertaker and so on. That is why when I heard about Macho Man's passing, I was sad. I remember the ooooohh yeahs! Miss Elizabeth whom the whole WWE Universe loved, Sensational Sherri that everyone hated. Macho Man was truly a wrestling icon. His match with Ricky Steamboat during Wrestlemania 3 was awesome. High flying crazy stunts that I watched on VHS that I begged my dad to rent.

I hope he is in a good place. Thanks for the memories! Ooooooohh Yeahhhhh!!!

And I'm Back

2011-05-31T21:38:00.000-07:00

I've gone to another path for the past 4 years not even thinking on the back of my mind that I'll be back. Some things are just irresistible. Maybe the circumstances were just right. Maybe this is where I belong. Maybe its the challenge. I honestly I don't know. I guess I just believe. This is where I started. It can be compared to someone who took your virginity. Ok maybe that's along shot. But that's what it feels like. You somehow get attached. It's just a matter of how you resist it. Well I didn't. I'm back!

I've been in different beds figuratively speaking. Different scenarios. Different environments. They all were good. They were all comfortable. Who would have guess that there was this inner itch in me that wanted me to have a second run at this. Sure the people are different, not so similar faces. A different structure. But it feels like I came back home. Too early to tell but still, it seems so right.

Maybe I was built for this, maybe I was somehow molded to this thinking. Whatever it may be, I'm back! And it feels good to be back!

Happy Birthday Mama!

2010-12-16T11:05:00.000-08:00

Not so long ago, at this very day, a very pretty little girl was born in this world. She was one of a kind. This girl became one of the most easy going, friendly, resourceful, patient, hardworking, understanding, loving and caring Mother who is filled with wisdom.

She always knows the right things to say in the worst situations. She always makes her husband and children feel loved and wanted. She always does her best to give her children what they wanted and needed. She is our Mom.

Even if I live far away, I never forget her. She was with me through thick and thin; through the good and the bad; through the laughter and the sadness. She is not your typical mom who would tell you what to do just because she says so. She wouldn't impose her will without any explanation. She also evolved through time. Understanding that we are living in a world that changes so fast and catches up. She knows when and how to press my buttons when the need arise.

I am who i am now because of her. She taught me to be a gentleman. She taught me to respect the elderly. She taught me to be independent and resourceful. She taught me to live and She taught me how to love.

I know we can never CHOOSE our parents but given a chance I would still CHOOSE her!

So on this special day, I would like to wish you MA, a happy happy birthday! Always remember that me and my brothers, Chino and Chason love you dearly and in time we will return the favor gladly and give you everything that you want, need and more.

Thank you for everything that you have given us and will be giving us.

We Love You Very Very Very Much! :-*

Cholo, Chino and Chason

Nostalgia

2010-12-05T08:31:00.000-08:00

In just almost 2 days,

I learned to appreciate;

A place a lot of people despise,

A place I call home.

Where people serve you with a smile,

Where people fall in line,

Where people own more than 1 cellphone,

Where people go to Church.

Where cellphone calls are cheap,

Where Christmas songs play during December,

Where I can buy shoes and jeans,

Where billboards distract drivers.

Where the food tastes great,

Where vices are cheap,

Where people shrug problems aside,

Where its warm 12 months a year.

Where my family wants be to be,

Where my friends want me to stay,

Where my childhood was formed,

Where I want to have my last breath.

Where some people appreciate,

Where some people want to escape from,

A place that is filled with ups and downs,

A place I call home.

I'll be back soon.

I'll stay longer.

Then I'll leave again.

Yet I'll never forget.

December 1, 2010

2010-11-30T10:56:00.000-08:00

Once again its the time of the year where radios are flooded with jolly, upbeat songs that brings joy to a lot of people's hearts. Where messages of sharing and giving combined with warmth and love are filling our hearts.

The time of the year where lights of different color fill the metropolis.

The time of the year where a lot of people put on a fake beard and a red suit to entertain children both young and old.

The time of the year where trees with a star on top is taken out of the storage room and is a popular furniture amongst houses.

These are just some things that I miss from home. Today is the 1st of December 2010. As I look out the window, I see lights. Yellow lamps from the posts showing motorists which lane to stay, where to go and if there are other vehicles that come near. I see lights of my neighbors from the other building closed down. Where people are walking down the streets wearing red pajamas instead of red suits. Where love songs and hip hop songs are heard in the radio.

You barely feel that Christmas is in the air. You never feel the warmth in the faces of the people around you, unless they are your friends. I was really happy to be with people today that smiled, that spoke a familiar language, having some things in common. Because once I sleep and wake up to go to work tomorrow, this will be gone. This has to wait for a while. Some hits here and there in terms of feeling the Christmas Spirit. But all in all, it is still different.

I spent Christmas in a few places. I have seen the different cultures, people, celebrations.

But there is something that I miss most. Somewhere where a certain vibe is present. Where children sing outside your car window. Where colorful lights accompany the lamp posts, where Santa Claus is in the billboards, where bibingka and puto-bungbong are sold in the wee hours of the morning, where the radios are filled with lively songs with messages of sharing, caring, love warmth and joy, where queso de bola and sweet ham are on the dining table, where I can give and receive hug and kisses, hear sweet laughs, feel the warmth and love.

A Filipino Christmas. Nothing like it.

If you are here with me in Shanghai right now, we will recreate those moments, well at least some of those soon. Trust me! We will!!! :)

If you are in the Philippines, I can't wait to celebrate the yuletide season with you when I go back.

Happy December!!! A Few more days to go! :D

Relationships

2010-11-16T11:53:00.000-08:00

Relationships do not run on love alone. It is not enough that you love each other in order for it to work. I know everybody knows that but sometimes we forget. Relationships need building blocks in order for it to work: compatibility between the people involve, reciprocation of feelings, compromise and trust. But besides that, we must be able to accept our partner for who he or she is and for his or her flaws and shortcomings. I know that there are more things the we can add to all of these. I know its easier said than done. But whatever they may be, in the end, in order to make things work, both parties should play their part. Without doing so, it will evidently go down the drain.

Both should learn from experiences of each other,
Wisdom enables relationships to be stronger;
A relationship with all certain kinds of spices,
Will withstand all sorts of crises.

Homestretch

2010-11-16T11:34:00.000-08:00

After 3 years it comes down to this. Leaving a lot of things that are certain for something uncertain. In those 3 years, things unfolded right before my eyes. The ups and downs, the good and bad, lucky and unlucky. And now, I find myself in a place where I never imagined to be 3 years back. Still in Shanghai, studying and working; being childish and mature; being irresponsible and responsible; being stubborn and hardworking. That has been the story of my 3 years so far here in Shanghai.

I remember talking to my family and friends before I left in 2007. "I'll stay there for a year. Study Chinese, get what I need in terms of experience, contacts, hopefully a business and then go home." Cholo of 2007. Then the 1 year plan "Learn Chinese Plan" became a 2 year "Experience being a Grad Student for a year plan" which became a "Finish my Master's Degree and Work Plan" and to now, the "Finish my Master's Degree, Work and Save Money for a Business Plan".

My friends always ask me, so what now? Another year? Will you live there forever? My answer is still a NO! I'll still go home. Its soon. I don't know when though. My current mindset is 2011-2012. Plans are made to be broken but I don't want to grow old here. I'll still go home... Soon...

As I have my left foot completely out of being a student and leaving a part of my right one, as I finished my Master's Dissertation and wait for defending it and finishing everything, as I get to the homestretch of the original reason why I am in this country in the first place, I began to realize how things changed from 3 years ago.

I'm almost there. But not quite. It has been a hell of a ride so far. But who knows when it will end? Is it a connecting flight to another destination literally and figuratively? Well, I think I'll just wait and see.

NBA 2K11: Where Will Amazing Happen This Year?

2010-10-21T09:35:00.000-07:00

The Current Situation

2010-10-17T11:05:00.001-07:00

There are things that happen when you least expect them,

Even you are conditioned for them to happen;

Even if you expect that your future is at your helm,

There are some things that are not obvious than the given.

Some people might call it a blessing in disguise,

Some people might call it a hurtful fall;

A huge bulk of pride might head to a demise;

But always choose to look at the bright side of it all.

There a lot of things in this world that will never be fair,

But it should not stop someone to work for it;

Prepare for all storms and avoid the dragon's lair,

Because all situations may change in a heart's beat.

There have been regrets that's hard to endure,

Some deep wounds that are hard to cure;

But there are always other things that one can lure,

Better days will unfold in the future that's for sure.

3 Years

2010-08-15T03:51:00.001-07:00

September 2, 2007 was the first time I stepped foot in Shanghai soil. Armed with a few hundred dollars, a roaming mobile phone, a few necessities and my acceptance letter from my school. I didn't know any Chinese. I didn't know where I was going. I basically didn't know anything or anyone. I was in an unfamiliar territory with unfamiliar language and I know that I will be scammed by locals taking advantage of this tall man looking lost and not knowing anything and everything about Shanghai. Sure research was made, a few things prepared but its still nothing compared to the feeling when you are in that situation and thinking that everything that people are telling you are false but you'll just go along since you have no choice.

It's almost 3 full years since those days. Now I'm able to speak the language to survive. Read some characters not to get lost, met a lot of people to keep me company, almost done with school that kept me confused, and found ways to earn money here and there. The wheels have turned. The sun has risen. All troubles were in the past but never forgotten. These made me smarter, stronger and better.

A lot has changed in Shanghai since I first came. Highways were built, subways were extended, shops closed, shops opened. People came and went. And still here I am. Did I change, yes I did. For the better or worse, well that is for others to tell. I have a year to go, well at least as far as my visa goes. I never gave it much thought until recently that I have a chance to go home finally.

I was feeling lonely seeing all the people going, being left behind, doing the same old things, punishing my body and pushing it to the edge. I was ready to drop everything and take the easy way out. But something is dragging me to stay. I know there are opportunities here but I haven't opened the envelope yet. I have less than a year to figure things out. I have less than a year to know if I should stay or should I go. Definitely there will be changes in the upcoming year. It's time to take a different route. Destination Unknown.

The only thing certain is I know that what every road I choose to follow, whatever path I take and whatever decision I make, It will open a new chapter in my colorful life.

And another thing... I would not take my talents to South Beach! Lol!

A Sense of Nationalism

2009-05-10T11:36:00.000-07:00

It is funny at times how a lot of Filipinos are trying hard not to associate themselves with the Philippines and then take pride when something good happens to the country.

Yes, we can never be proud as Filipinos to be fighting for the title of being the most corrupt country in Asia.

Yes, we can never be proud that our political ideologies are not about the principles of the political party but rather on who has the power.

Yes, we can never be proud of the fact that countries such as Vietnam, Thailand and the likes whom looked at us in the past have overtaken us now.

Yes, we can never be proud of being agriculturally sufficient in the past and now patronizing imported agri-products for being cheaper and having better quality.

Then there is Manny Pacquiao! The pound-for-pound best boxer in the world. The man who jumped from division to division beating other world class boxers and getting better at it as each day progresses. The man who is all smiles when he enters the ring, prays before and after each fight, thanks the people whom supported him and looks at boxing as just a "job".

True, we should be proud of this guy. Besides being an excellent licensed fist, every single time he fights, the crime rate in the Philippines is at zero or close to it. Besides that, he is showing the world our religious culture as Filipinos. Besides that, he also tells a success story hailing from a poor family from a poor province and now enjoying the luxury of life.

But after this period where we celebrate his accomplishments, maybe after a week, a lot of people go back to the disassociation mode.

It is true that our country has been plagued by a lot of problems that numerous generations to follow will never beat. It is also true that there are a lot of things that we do not like with our country.

But irregardless of all these things that hounds us, we must never ever forget that this country made us what we are today. From these problems, we became stronger as individuals, we became more self-reliant, and more equipped with the tools needed to go through hardships here and there.

We must also embrace the good things that we got from her. The hospitable nature, generosity, loving and caring, and more.

Sure there are things that we do not like. Sure there are things that hounds us. But at the end of the day, We are still Filipinos! We still have some good in us! We should focus on this good and spread this identity with the world that Filipinos are not those ugly stereotypes that they hear...

We are something else! We can lift our heads up high and show them that we are not just a country of great boxers, we are a country of great people!

Mabuhay ang Pilipinas! Mabuhay ang bawat Pilipino!

"Angelo 怎么样？“

2009-04-26T09:46:00.001-07:00

I just came from a school trip. The trip exceeded my expectations from the previous ones I had. The scenery was breathtaking. I went inside a cave, climbed a mountain with rain all over me. It was an experience that I would not forget. Too bad some of my friends did not make it, but all in all it was good.

There is one thing that bothered me though. Most of the people there called me Angelo. It took me a while to get it also. I just learned that Angelo was actually a character in a Filipino Soap Opera called Pangako Sa Yo. All throughout the trip, people were telling me "Angelo, 怎么样？“ Zen me yang means, how's everything.

At first I was like, what the hell? Then one of them told me, "Do you know there is a Filipino Soap in CCTV8? There is this guy Angelo and this girl Ina." And then it came to me. Since I was the only Filipino there, and some of them have a hard time pronouncing my name, they called me Angelo instead.

After a while I just shook my head. Angelo... hahaha!

When You Try Something New!

2009-04-15T22:20:00.000-07:00

I am an agent of change. I never get contented. I always know I can do something better. At times even when I do the best thing I do, I still think that there is some detail I neglected. This is me. This is how I cope with things. I may never completely regret them but at times I give myself the "what if" question.

The same as my relationships. Especially with my family. I never had a great relationship with my dad. People close to me know that. It changed a little when I was in my lowest low. But the change was not very significant. Even if I live far away from home, there is a huge gap that needs to be filled. I was always closer to my mom rather than my dad. With my brothers, well let us just say that I care about them as much as my mom.

I almost gave up on improving my relationship with my dad. I talk more to his friends more than I do with him. I remember during my last birthday and he called me. I talked to him for a few minutes and then he passed the phone to his friend whom I talked more. It may seem funny but that is how we are.

When we are left in a car, a deafening silence governs that car. Not much talking unless someone calls him or me. Maybe my childhood caused this rift.

But something changed last night. I reached out.

I suddenly had an urge to call my mom and we had our usual talks, updates and stuff. While we were talking I asked her to pass the phone to my dad. She was actually surprised. And then I talked to my dad. Surprisingly, we talked more than we did in months and maybe in years. The last time I talked to him that much was when I was buried deep by my problems.

I felt a sense of awkwardness in his voice also. I just tried to handle it like I was talking to a friend. It was funny. It was different. It was odd. But it certainly felt good. I never felt I can connect to my dad like that.

The past few nights I have not slept so well. But last night was different. It it like I had nothing on my shoulder. I now realize the value of my family. We might not look eye to eye each time. we may not be your perfect family. But irregardless, we must play by what we got.

I love you dad! Expect more calls from me in the future!

Forgone Opportunities

2009-04-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

We have a lot of these. Sometimes we were just in the wrong place, at the wrong time, given the wrong circumstance. There are missed opportunities that could have changed the way we live our lives today. We might not be the same persons we are if only, just if, we took a different path.

We might regret a few things that happened along the way. We can never turn back the hands of time in order to redo those things that we messed up in the past. We can never recreate the same scenarios ever again. Sure there are some similarities at times but it can never be the exact same thing.

But this doesn't mean that it is the end of the world. This doesn't mean that we can never have something this good.

I believe that things happen for a reason. That better things are meant for each and everyone of us. At times I think about those things that happened in the past. I reminisce about the happy times and how I could have been happier. At times, I regret not taking bigger risks or smaller ones.

But regardless of what happened, I know that there is something better that will come my way. Sooner rather than later, I will once again see that path. I just know I will. I may have been caught at the wrong places, given the wrong time and scenarios or circumstances but I feel something great will happen very very soon!

It might be something I am expecting, it might be something that will come as a surprise. No matter what they may be, I am ready! More than before! I am not hoping, I just know!

Some People Are Just Not Like You!

2009-04-01T10:13:00.000-07:00

Never Settle For Mediocrity!

This is a saying that was instilled in me by my parents. Fortified by my teachers both in school and out. Proven by life.

I don't mean to carry my own bench but I am a very clever person. I might not be your best student academically but I pride myself to know what to do in the real world. Most of the things that I use now were never taught in school. They were taught by experience.

I have done so many stupid things in my life. I failed in a lot of areas. I made a lot of mistakes. I took a lot of things for granted. These are the lessons that made me smarter, more clever and wiser.

I treat people as I want to be treated. I do not treat people like trash, well not anymore. I talk to people like we are in the same level in terms of brain power. I never underestimate anyone. I give them the benefit of the doubt, until they screw up.

Sometimes, we encounter people who can be really stupid. I don't want to sound arrogant nor harsh but this is reality. Not everyone is the same. Not everyone is like me.

My patience is usually long. But when I know that you are stupid, it becomes shorter. I may ignore you. I may avoid you. But if I do, it is for your own good.

Excellence is a word harshly thrown around. People claim excellence when they don't even know what it is. IT is very subjective. What is excellent for you might not be enough for me. What is excellent for me, might be not enough for others.

Today I dealt with a lot of mediocrity. I am going to avoid them.

Like a good friend and former partner said, "I only work with the best!"

Why I Am Proud Of My Brothers

2009-03-30T10:53:00.000-07:00

One might not appreciate family. Some take them for granted. Some hate their families. Some people think that there is a certain degree of rivalry that is present among siblings. I am not one of those people! People might not know it but I take pride of my family, especially with my brothers.

We are not an elite family, well at least not yet, I have plans in changing that but that is another story. We are not the Trip Darling type headed household nor The Hogans nor The Osborns. We don't have all the money, limelight and the success... yet. But we will get there, eventually. I am sure of that!

I am the eldest of 3 boys. We are not the Einstein type geniuses but we are definitely something. Nothing about me for now, I will leave that to you but let me talk about my bros!

They are both graduating this year. One from college and the other from elementary. They have both a good looking future in my perspective. They are both smart, mature young men by the way they talk,act and make decisions. I am sure my parents are as equally proud as I am!

Chino is not the bookish type. He is creative and street smart. He will never be an Engineer nor a Lawyer but he will be a great Artist, a Creative Guru,a Digital Master. He is paced to be great. He is paced to be someone very important. Someone who will be eventually known. Just wait and see. Given the right breaks, seizing the right moments, he will show people what he can do.

Chason is something remarkable. Studying in a prestigious Chinese school with no Chinese blood, now without a Chinese tutor, playing varsity basketball and class president, he is getting good grades, even in Chinese, and loved by everyone in his school. This kid is, if not the perfect son, the closest one my parents can have. He has never been into a fight, too tall to be bullied and has a very good personality. He has a logic of an adult and tact of a true gentleman.

I may miss both of their graduations. I may not talk to both of them everyday. I might not know what is happening to them right now. But make no mistake about it, I care about both of them, love them dearly and will go more than just the extra mile for them.

Congratulations to the both of you! We will do something that will shock the world in the future!

Catching The Bus

2009-03-25T10:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life takes some unexpected turns. We often see some windows of opportunity that we take. There are also some times that we forgo these types of opportunities. Hence, there are also times that we are to late so see that we had these opportunities and we just realize them when it is too late.

Others might say that it is never too late for anything. I believe otherwise. It is like catching a bus on a not so busy day. The reason for such an analogy is that during the rush hours, buses often arrive faster. More people, more business. During the wee hours, there are only a handful available. This means that we have to wait a little bit longer to find a bus to catch. When you get into that bus, it can be a troublesome, filled bus, or a comfortable one. There are also times when you are lucky not to wait a very long time.

We may be late for the previous bus. We might not see that same opportunity reappear in our very eyes. But there will be definitely a next one irregardless of the wait we may have to endure but there will be always something else. It may come in different channels but it will come for sure.

After missing one bus, we will be more alert and know where to catch the next one. We may not know which opportunity is the most ideal for us. We may have regrets in making wrong interpretations to certain things we think are opportunities. But every single time we we fail to catch a bus, always remember, there will always be a next one and just hope that that bus will cruise to your destination.

Changes

2009-03-16T04:21:00.000-07:00

Things begin to unfold,
Now all are told;
Barricades are now torn down,
Lighting up the whole town.

Wheel continues to spin,
Once below now on top;
Landscape revealed and seen,
Open field and will not stop.

Decisions can be tricky,
Sometimes we come up empty;
But risks still need to be taken,
Codes can also be broken.

At times of despair,
Ending without flair;
Sing a different tune,
Reversals become soon.

New life, new adventures,
Meeting all kinds of creatures;
Everything smiling towards me,
Change is good, this we will see!

Inspiring

2009-02-03T00:07:00.001-08:00

You think that your life has been in a crapper and there is no way to get up, think again. Sometimes a lot of obstacles face our way and we believe there is no way to go. Thing will just never go our way. Never!

But I firmly believe that we should never say never. There is not a single thing we cannot do. There are no limitations. Everything and anything is always possible.

Why did I say such?

Here is proof. They say that people having the problem of autism are different. Different in such a way that they are not normal. That they have a deficiency. I don't think so. Even if they face challenges their whole lives, they can always step up and be normal. Better yet, amazing, extraordinary, a hero.

Take this kid, Jason McElwain or McElway. He maybe autistic but he did not let his autism shatter his dream.

Check it out, its worth your time...

The X Factor

2009-02-02T10:13:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when one thinks things need to take a turn for the better people wait a few weeks, a few months or even a year. Today, when I thought of that, it happened just in minutes. It is funny how people say that the law of attraction works. It does.

Its is very strange how this law is an agent that connects you to the things you desire. Some people may say otherwise but for me, well let us put it this way, its works when I want it to work.

You may ask why not make it work every single time? My answer is simple. I have yet to perfect its use. Sometimes there are instances where a bad thought comes into my mind. This means that I am attracting it as well. So basically it still works. The thing is, I need to process good thoughts always. For me it is not as easy since I have not been an optimist all my life.

I used to be a pessimistic bloke that expects the worst and hopes for the best. It used to work but the problem comes when I think more bad things and these things turn into a reality.

As of the moment I am in a detoxification mode where I try as hard as I can to eliminate the negativity that surrounds the computer chip on my head. No friends, its not that detox thing that you are thinking of. The drinking stays! hahaha!

This "turn" I had is not monumental. It's simple. It's not winning the lottery nor being king of the world. It is something simple that brightened my boring day. It is a spice that made a simple nothing into a something. It is like a star that made the night a little lighter.

You may think this is shallow. You may think its not as good as it sounds. But sometimes, one must appreciate the little things in order to attract the big ones. And for me this is the way to start.

That X-Factor, thanks a lot!

The Aftermath

2009-02-01T21:09:00.000-08:00

Its been almost 2 months since,
My friends know what this means;
A different beat for me,
A new world is there to see.

Shocks were not as disturbing,
Ready for a new beginning;
It is all about mind conditioning,
Creating your happy ending.

He has nothing to regret,
In time everything will be set;
All lights will lead to the path,
This is the aftermath.

My First Authentic Chinese New Year

2009-01-29T08:16:00.000-08:00

Last year, I went hope as the Chinese welcomed my supposed to be year, the Year of the Rat. This year, I stayed here to have a feel how it is authentically celebrated.

I celebrated the start of the Year of the Ox with some of my Filipino Chinese friends in a hotel where you can see the best view of fireworks display in Shanghai.

Before going there I thought it would not be as fun in Shanghai than other cities. Most of the Chinese who are normally living in Shanghai are from all over China. A vast majority of them went home to celebrate with their families. My school is very peaceful. It seems like its an abandoned area. Dorms are empty, including mine.

Before going to the hotel I met my friends so that we can all go together. I don't have a car so I use the usually jampacked public transportation of Shanghai, buses, trains and cabs.

The streets were empty, most people are with their families. It is like noche buena in Manila. The usually packed subway stations have a few people. The heavily crowded streets were ghost towns, most hotels are not booked, and bars offer promotions to attract the remaining people to party with them.

But once the clock struck 12, it was noisy for more than an hour! Lights covered the used to be dark cold Shanghai night! Everyone was lighting firecrackers, launching rockets and establishments showing off their displays.

We saw the showcase of fireworks, lived a bit of the Chinese tradition. It was fun. I did not get the whole feeling where you spend it with the way Chinese do but its close enough.

Maybe next year, maybe this is the closest I will get. But all in all, it was a good experience. A good way to start the "牛“ year!

恭喜发财！

A Torching Start!

2009-01-15T02:55:00.000-08:00

New Year, New Hope, New Beginning!

Mine had a torching start! Literally! My room just caught fire! Literally! Some things got burned but everything else is ok. What way to start the year eh. Not as I imagined as well. But for me, this doesn't mean that this year will be in the pits. I take this as a fine end to 2008, the year of the rat, which should have meant my year. But it wasn't.

Looking back at 2008, it was not as I expected it to be. It was not even close of what I expected it to be. A lot of times things turned to toward the worse rather than the better. Oftentimes the positive became negative.

I am not sour graping with what happened. I am taking it under my belt and charge everything to experience and hopefully, and I really mean hopefully, this year will be much more different than that.

I can see positive things unfolding as this year starts. I just wish it continues to do so. As the rat goes back in its hole and the ox starts charging, I am looking forward to a raging year.

The fire burned the rat who was pulling me down. All of those are now in the ashes. No time for despair. Time to charge! Start another fire, this time, not literally!

Christmas Blog

2008-12-17T07:02:00.000-08:00

With Christmas really around the corner, stuck in a country where no religion rules, I feel a little down. To top it all up, I finally got access to Filipino channels. You may ask, why is it bad then? It is for the reason that I feel lonelier. Seeing the colorful bright Christmas lights hanging outside the city buildings, lantern competitions, Christmas commercials and more.

In here, Christmas is not celebrated. Some put Christmas trees, a few lights here and there. But the spirit is not here. I do not feel around me here. Not at all. I think now that I think of it, those things I see about Christmas in Manila is not only about the lights, lanterns and trees. It is about the joy and the spirit that comes along with it.

I used to take Christmas for granted. But once you live in a country that doesn't celebrate it, you will miss it. It is just different. It is something out of the ordinary. It feels like a part of you is missing. A part you cannot live without with.

Good thing I will go home for Christmas. I will risk everything just to be able to get back. I will get that part of me and be happy. I cannot take a pass on this one. I would be a fool to do so. Sure I will miss some important things here, sure I will be pressed for time when I get back, sure there are a lot of cons that should make me stay here.

But there is one thing for sure. I don't expect you to agree with me. But I think at this time of the year, you have to be with your loved ones, the ones who will never leave your side no matter what. Those people who will forgive you for your biggest mistakes and take you as like nothing happened. These people that you often take for granted.

I may fail in different things, I may not be the perfect Catholic but I would not fail in giving joy to myself and others that wants it this season where a boy was born to save the world. I cannot save the world, I have no intention to save the world. But I have every intention to have his work cut out for him seeing that people are enjoying the freedom he worked hard for.

Merry Christmas to all! Spread the love, spread the warmth, spread the spirit of joy!!! See you before 2009!!!

Ironies

2008-12-17T06:48:00.000-08:00

Mighty warrior projected on bay,
A scared little boy hiding away;
Are you sure you know this lad,
Do you know that he can be bad?

Calm and poised as a sweet summer breeze,
Deep inside, the glands will freeze.
Are you sure you know this lad,
Do you know that he can be bad?

A model citizen that everyone loves,
A bastard who wants to kill doves;
Are you sure you know this lad,
Do you know that he can be bad?

A wise young man with the wisdom of Aristotle,
A stupid lad who knew so little.
Are you sure you know this lad,
Do you know that he can be bad?

Sweet words will sweep you away,
Cruel intentions is what he want to say;
Are you sure you know this lad,
Do you know that he can be bad?

This lad is bad but he is also good,
This lad is trying as hard as he could;
You think you know this lad but think again,
Maybe this is all gibberish think again

Dazed and Confused... Again

2008-12-16T07:10:00.000-08:00

Even those filled with wisdom are left in the dark,
Even the loudest dogs resist to bark;
Even honor students get the lowest mark,
Even the shiniest star loses its spark.

When times are high, some things are low,
When you don't agree, you go with the flow;
When you feel dumb, you pretend to know,
When you are weak, you don't let it show.

Figured out things, find out you haven't,
Habits done, suddenly cant;
Sturdy metals, suddenly bent,
Read everything, not knowing what was meant.

An End Of An Era? A Beginning Of A Dynasty?

2008-12-16T06:58:00.000-08:00

Some things has to end. The problem is I don't know which ones. There are some things that you can live without and some that you just cant. It is almost the end of 2008 and I don't know which other things will. Light will shed some time soon. Everything feels weird nowadays. Some are gleefully weird and some are just annoying.

All I can say is this... Every book ends, every dictatorship falters, every game has a finish. But when these things cease to exist, another one begins. Something bigger. The Boston Celtics won 16 championships and became a dynasty. Manny Pacquiao started as a cigarette vendor in becoming the "pound-for-pound" boxing king. Once they failed, everyone does.

This age, era of fine, is this the next to be dethroned? Only time can tell...

"Expect the worst and hope for the best" a common saying that is tested by time. Who knows... I don't for sure...

Negotiating

2008-12-04T00:25:00.000-08:00

Today our Management Psychology teacher divided us in 2 groups where these groups have to negotiate given case scenarios. I was laughing my ass off seeing them fight each other. I knew from the start that there will be no agreement will be made. And I am right. There are a lot of factors why this happened.

Imperfect information. The scenario was both groups are under one conglomerate. It was decentralized and that are given the power to make their own decisions freely. The common problem in a decentralized setting just occurred. Information was kept from the other side. The 2 groups are trying to one-up each other. They did not share valuable information.

Compromise. In negotiation, there should always be compromise. You will lay an offer that will benefit you the most. After which, you have to meet in the middle. The other group did not want to compromise. They had something that we wanted and did not think that they could earn more by selling us their technology.

Close-mindedness. They stuck with the case. There were no what ifs, no hear us out kind of thing. It was very funny. I was part of the other group and I was giving my team mates my ideas. I cannot express myself well because they are arguing in Chinese. But from the start I know what is going to happen.

Opportunity cost. No negotiation makes them earn $ 5, 000,000 and us $ 4, 000, 000. $ 9, 000, 000 is not bad. Not bad at all. Then they realized at the end that both parties could have earned $ 15, 100, 000 if they just compromised. The company lost a potential earning of $ 6, 100, 000.

Bottom line, in the real world, you cannot always get what you want solely. You need to compromise. Assert what you want and if you get it then good but if not, you should be open to other possibilities. Try to make good of every situation.

If I was the CEO, I will start firing some people. $ 6, 100, 000 was lost. Someone should be accountable! hahaha!

外国研究生的问题

2008-11-26T03:06:00.000-08:00

我住在上海过一年。
我学习汉语也过一年。
班科的时候都英文的。
五年学习经济和商业。

我现在是研究生。
都课是汉语的。
都书是汉语的。
都同学从中国的。

我不明白很多。
我写很慢。
我有很多问题。
没有很多时间。

But this stops here,
Something has to be done;
No time to fear,
Crank up this one.

Reality Bites

2008-11-20T21:07:00.000-08:00

Everyone is happy,
Fairy tale was lived;
Everything is fine,
Joy is conceived.

The road is clear,
Open journey;
Delight so sheer,
Both are merry.

Human nature,
Looking for more;
Never contented,
Seems a bore.

Took a turn,
Never thinking;
A new twist,
Now beginning.

Other road,
Catches up;
Heart shattered,
Time is up.

Fairy tale,
Now a tragedy;
It fails,
Not a comedy.

The Dark Knight

2008-11-12T07:21:00.000-08:00

From a commoner to a knight,
This person showed might;
Defied the odds, sweated and bled,
Had a gun up on his head.

Sent astray to uncommon land,
Only a few things in his hand;
Looking to strike, looking for gold,
Needing to do something bold.

Knight succeeds, captures the treasure,
The King rewarded him for the adventure;
Filled with joy, the knight was glee,
A lot of the men are envious to thee.

They take him down, bow and arrow,
When his back was turned, came the sorrow;
Cast away spirit was down,
The crown was replaced with a frown.

The knight gave this King a new land to conquer,
The knight gave this Kingdom a chance to uncover;
The knight gave everything he has to offer,
The Kingdom prospers to a great ever after.

Knight grew old and he was forgotten,
Even his contributions to the Kingdom then;
Like nothing great was ever achieved,
Knight goes forward but will always grieve.

Lost In Translation

2008-11-10T23:09:00.000-08:00

Its not about the movie nor the novel. Although at times I feel like I am living it in some way. For now its mainly about the language. In 1 year since I started learning Chinese, there had been a lot of obstacles. Getting used to 26 letters in the English alphabet plus 2 more for the modern Filipino one, well is not easy to jump to a new ship so to speak.

I am looking at a new language with tones, a wrong tone can cause your face to swell, your balls to hurt and your reputation to ruins. A set of thousands of strokes and characters that mean so much of things. A language unable to be mastered by those even who trace their roots from China and grew up elsewhere.

And now here I am, learned it in more than a year. Raising the bar and taking post graduate studies in Chinese. You may think I am digging my own grave, you may think that I am foolish, some admire my boldness, some are inspired. Whatever way one might look at it, its simple, the reason for these reactions is the language is hard and especially for someone who did not have any background, its twice or even thrice as hard.

Some of my professors feel my pain, some don't. Some of them gives me a little window to write freely in English where I am most comfortable. You must understand, I learned everything in English. I defended papers in English, started a business in an alien environment in English. I got everything I have under my belt in English and a sudden shift would not be pretty. If you want my masterpiece, well I need to use a tool that I am comfortable using. And you know what I am talking about.

I am learning Chinese still now. Not in a formal environment but a more casual way. Talking to my peers, my professors, and other locals. But of course its never enough. Unless I stay here for the next 10 years, my Chinese will not be like that of someone who was raised here.

I had a test on Thursday. Microeconomics. Its a different world that I grew up in. A world where I stumbled a lot of times in order to break free. 4 comprehensive exams, mastering the Lagrangian method, Cournot, The Game Theory among others. Now I have to relive it again in Chinese.

I am smart sure but I am not perfect. I forgot a lot of these things. I know graphs, I can play with them, I can analyze them. We were once married to each other. After a while, we got tired of each other and divorced. Now I am forcing myself to fall in love again. And now, she has changed. I tried wooing her a lot of times before until she gave in. Now she is making things extra hard for me.

I translated a few things on Google to get a head start. I failed. Thanks to a good friend, she told me that the "Flexibility" and "Revenue" that was translated are actually "Elasticity" and "Income". Sure its something that you will get after a while. But I do not have the luxury of time. I need it now.

I talked to a lot of people, some can understand me, some don't. Sometimes when the it counts, its the ones who needs to understand you are the once who don't. Shit happens and life is like a box of chocolates. Forrest was right.

I just have to deal with this and watch things unfold.

Like A Million Bucks

2008-11-03T10:25:00.000-08:00

For every Christian person there are 2 days that we are excited about, Christmas and our very own birthday. 2008 is a year that I would not forget. It is kind of mixed emotions for me as I celebrated my 24th year on Earth.

To break it down here is a summary of my birthday week. 1 simple yet fun filled and crazy joint birthday party, 1 heartbroken friend, new acquaintances, 1 visitor, and to top it all of 1 trip outside Shanghai that started ugly but ended on a very high note.

For the 2 years that I am here in China, I never celebrated my birthday, I mean the day itself, here in the city. Its always somewhere else. Last year it was Suzhou with new friends. It was a nice experience but I was not that happy. This year it was Hangzhou with my dear cousin. It was different, way different. I am very happy today. Felt like a million bucks!

This year I never expected to hear from a lot of people. People that I would not imagine would know. Sure a lot of them can see on their Facebook and Friendster sidebars that it was my day. They had a choice to ignore it though. But they didn't. Unlike before, I count my blessings more nowadays. I try to look at the bright side of things. I give people the benefit of the doubt.

But besides these people whom I am connected in the cyberspace by some social networking page, it is the people whom called, sent messages, emails and wishes that touched me most. Some greeted me more than once. Some were just happy to hear my voice welcoming their greetings. I am very happy.

I feel so rich having a lot of people caring. Not everyone are as lucky as me.

To all of you, MARAMING SALAMAT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MUCHOS GRACIAS, KHAP KHUN MA NA KHRAP, 谢谢你们！YOU ALL MADE THIS DAY VERY VERY SPECIAL! :)

Customer is King

2008-10-30T05:56:00.000-07:00

I have been reading a study a few days ago that dealt with Customer Satisfaction and Dissatisfaction in the eyes of employees. The article is trying to rebut that the customer is not always king. They say that sometimes customers create havoc which leads them to be problem customers.

Well I have to disagree!

Customer is always king! Always! No exceptions! You cannot run a company, sell a product or service if you do not have a customer? Customers are the oxygen of a company! It will stay that way.

Sure they had research to support their claims but they cannot sway me to their fence. In my opinion, their research is somewhat flawed. The asked employees. How sure are they that these employees are not biased? How sure are they that these employees are trained to be in the hospitality field?

They may have some measures but I am still not sold.

If you disregard the social responsibility for a moment, companies always look for ways to increase profit. They need money to employ staff, they need money to create products and services, they need money to pay the costs. Sure they could inject capital, sure they can get loans, but in the end of it all, without customers, how the hell can they survive?

Bottom line, customer is always king! You have to please them, keep them and understand them in order to make your business run.

Unless you show me a company that earns millions of dollars without any customers, you will never convince me!

The Power of Internet

2008-10-29T10:05:00.000-07:00

When I work on something I don't work hard. I work smart! I take pride with the quality of work I make. Now more than ever. I made some sub-par stuff before that I was not proud of. And now that I am given another chance, I am doing the best that I can, always.

I know myself inside out. When my thinking cap is thin, I take rests, refuel and then resume. Same thing happened today. I was making a paper and ran short of gas. I don't like forcing the issue. It always comes out ugly. So I rested for a bit. I check my mails, watched basketball, then suddenly, my mac screen flashed. Someone sent me a message.

This someone turned out to be my classmate in 2nd grade. I barely recognized him. We were not that close also as far as I remember. We were classmates in the honor's class. Yes I was an honor student before. Comes as a shock isn't it? By 3rd grade, I went back to the normal class. I did not feel good in the honor's class. I want to experience the changing of sections, changing classmates, playing basketball and being on the top 5 of my class.

These guys I was classmates with stuck together throughout grade school. They have a strong bond. They experienced the wonder years together. Some of their parents became close.

It was funny and awkward at first since I do not remember a lot of things about that guy. I was 7 years old then. How the hell should I remember. But then after a few minutes, I remembered. I remembered those years. The teachers, the troubles I got into. I was in touch again with my childhood. I never expected to talk to those guys again. Never in my life. But now there is a way. The internet.

He even wanted to have a reunion of sorts. These are the guys I left during 2nd grade. We were never in the same class again. As I went to a new high school, I never remembered them. It harsh but I didn't. But now its very clear.

A lot of things had changed. A long time has passed. A lot more to go. But when that day comes when I have to meet them, I will be more than happy to!

Thank God for Internet! Without it, I don't know how I will be able to get in touch with a part of my youth.

Taking Things For Granted

2008-10-29T09:44:00.000-07:00

Every single day we rant. Every single day we complain about how bad our lives are. We are never contented. We are never at peace. It is normal. We are human. Its human nature. But sometimes we need to be thankful for what we have. I have been in the ranting season the past few days. I felt that nothing I had was good enough.I felt down. I tried cheering myself up but to no avail.

Sure I look fine in front of everyone. But deep inside, the discontentment, disappointment, the greediness prevailed on my subconscious side.I was not able to fight it until now.

I just realized what I have as of the moment. And to tell you quite frankly, its not that bad. Sure I am not living like a king. Sure there are a lot of changes that need to happen. But overall, Its not that bad. Actually not bad at all.

I am actually quite rich. I have a family that is intact and apparently happy and I have people who love, care and support me. In short I am not alone in this world. Sometimes I wonder what made these people love such an ass like me? Its a mystery but they are there.

I have been ranting about my class. You may probably have read my previous take. But what I realized was, its not that bad. Sure its crazy but I have been in crazier situations before. I would not lie like a dog and die. The fact of the matter is, its possible to crack. I have someone who is helping me go through it. If everything fails and I flunk, then I just need to try again.

I have a free place to live. Its small but its enough. My education is taken cared of as well. I have nothing to complain. I just want more. I am never contented. I want the best!

Here I go again. The ranting stops now.

There are things in life that we have as of the moment and overlook them. We may seem not thankful now, but as the song says, "You don't know what you've got 'til its gone!"

And we should be thankful and not take these things for granted!

The Wonder Years

2008-10-28T12:11:00.000-07:00

We are what we are because of what happened to us in the past. Sure, we may regret a few things here and there but those things, failures, mistakes, whatever you may call them made us better, stronger and wiser.

A lot of things happened in my youth. Happy memories that will be treasured for the rest of my life. Stories that I can tell my kids, my grandchildren. Stories that will make them feel what I felt, see what I saw and learn what I had learned.

Those sad times that I want to forget. Sometimes hounds me even up to now. Things I want relieved. And maybe, just maybe if I played my cards the other way, then I will be someone else.

People say that "you will be only young once" and they are right. I reminisce the times where I can stupid. When everything was so simple. No complexities. Times when you feel lighter. Like you do not have the whole world's problem on your back.

I miss those years. Those wonder years. We all had them. Sometimes when you see children around you, they remind you of what you were. When your slate was still blank.

The funny thing is I look back and see how I took a lot of things for granted. I used to complain about my dad who was so strict, my mom who was on my ass 24/7, my brothers who bugged me during those hard times, my friends whom hurt me one way or the other. Sometimes its the bad things that I remember, that sticks to my mind. But what I missed were how these people gave me the care, the courage, the strength, the wisdom and the love that made me the man that I am today.

I may not voice out what I feel a lot of times but I do love them. I do care for them. I will be there when they need me. I will never jump ship. Never! I felt abandoned a lot of times and it does not feel good. Not at all. That is why to those who are true, I will return the favor and more.

As I am about to age another year, I look back. I am young but not that young anymore. I must be responsible for my actions. I am not that kid I used to be. I need to shape my life. I may had a jumpstart but for my standards, its not enough.

Maturity does not come in age, it comes through experience. You can quote me on this. I experienced hell, heaven in 23 years. I may not lived it all but I am trying to. I dream of a lot of things. But above all, I strive to get those dreams.

The wonder years are technically not over. Things still happen that makes me wonder why such occurred. I may wonder lesser than a few years ago. But one thing is certain, once the wonder stops, the world stops and that's the time my life stops.

Fear

2008-10-27T11:05:00.000-07:00

Gloom stares you right in the face,
Sunny and bright are the days;
Once curtains fall and sun is blocked,
Darkness rules and lights are sucked.

Outside the sun smiles welcoming,
Refused by the curtain hiding;
Afraid of sudden flash of light,
Turning the bright day into dark night.

Come one, come all! What a beautiful day!
Still keeping mum, rejecting needless to say.
Wanting to sweep something away,
Waiting to be pulled out of dismay.

In Exactly 1 Week

2008-10-27T06:15:00.000-07:00

I like numbers. I like playing with numbers. I am not an accountant nor an engineer. But I like numbers. It is like a part of Time Magazine. Some facts and numbers.

24 will be my age this year

I had experienced a lot of good and bad, professionally and professionally. I had been on top! I had problems of a 40 year old man. I have been through a lot what more can happen. We will see.

7 days or 1 week, I will be 24

Should I look forward to turning older? How will I be in a week? What would I do?

13 months since I arrived in Shanghai

I can order food, talk a little bit, write a little bit, met new people, lost some people... i became happy, sad, excited and mad.

3 cities outside Shanghai that I visited

I hope I can see more, I enjoyed those cities. Its not just the cities I went to, It whom I went with. Always a blast! Let's do it again people!

26 units I have to finish to get my MBA degree

14 now, 12 to go! I hope I don't flunk anything! hehehe... We will see what happens.

2011 the year my visa expires

Will I go home, or will I stay? Who will be here still? What next???

Gutcheck Time!

2008-10-27T06:02:00.000-07:00

Behind the confidence rats hide,
Thinking lady luck in offside;
Failure horrors the protagonist's ply,
When asked, no one knows why.

No trying means no finding out,
Facing facts explore the route;
Maybe close but not cigar,
But it may also go far.

Poise, calm, ice cold shown,
Inside and explosion blown;
Master of disguise can be seen in the eyes,
Inside a coward lies.

On with the charade go with the flow,
Or unleash the beast, make a show;
Gut check time what will it be?
Are you ready to see the real me?

Expect the Unexpected

2008-10-23T09:51:00.000-07:00

It has been said a lot of times. You must expect the unexpected. With regards to people, do not trust anybody. At times, when it's too good to be true, it must be not.

One of my professors told me during the start of the semester that it's up to me to write something or not. As long as I go to class, he will pass me. He even spoke to me in English. I sighed as I felt relieved of the fear I had. The fearful part was, he speaks so fast that I cannot catch anything at all. Tonight, he sang a different tune. He told the class that I now have to write papers. The worst case is that I hae to write in Chinese.

It is hard enough for me to read Chinese texts. This is not basic Chinese anymore. You must understand, I am studying Business. Business requires the use of a bunch of jargons that you need to learn to obtain your Bachelor's Degree. And I did that for 5 years. Taking 2 degrees, my brain was fed with jargons, with learnings. They were taught to me in English.

I feel like I am in a disadvantage. I felt screwed. I felt again never to trust anyone. It was too good to be true. I focused on other subjects. I took his for granted. I did only 1 paper. Yeah, it was my fault. I am aware of such. I feel like a child promised to go to the carnival by his father and then was told that dad changed his mind.

I was not the only one pissed. A few of my classmates who were helping me were as well. I thank them for their support. I felt that I was not alone. Nevertheless, there is no point on dwelling on this circumstance. I learned this before the hard way. Now I am back in those shoes once again.

What should I do now? Well, I have a good idea. An idea that I will employ. Put into actions. I am not just going to sit around ranting like a freaking 5 year old, showing signs of tantrums. The tequila shots I took this evening took care of that.

I will move on, it will be hard but I will try to make things work like I did in the past. I am aiming for a positive outcome but I am also expecting the worst. What will happen will happen. I will do my part.

Maybe he was bluffing, maybe not. Right now, I don't give a damn. I will expect the unexpected. I will know in a few weeks. Time to put my thinking hat back on.

A Long Way From Home

2008-10-21T02:11:00.000-07:00

True friends are very hard to find,
Test and trials shape the bond;
Looking inside the heart and mind,
Sharing feelings be hate or fond.

In the land where eyes are small,
A lot were left back on home soil;
Hoping to keep in touch at all,
Sharing joy or deep turmoil.

Having troubles but longing theirs,
Sharing smokes, food and beers;
Waiting for that moment losing hairs,
But come that day its time for cheers.

Stuck in a moment, living the past,
Making the best of what's on shore;
Coped, blended, living at last,
Looking forward to what is in store.

Bump the car, head on,
Smell the breeze face the storm;
It's not that bad, come on,
Build up starts from the dorm.

Yes I am Cholo and I am Filipino!

2008-10-20T13:05:00.000-07:00

Filipinos are the only Asians with Spanish last names, and at times first names. The thing though is, not all of us speak Spanish. Sure, we can understand, utter some words, sometimes try to speak Spanish crookedly. Unless you went to Instituto Cervantes in Manila or a similar school, you are what I am talking about.

I had a crazy experience tonight. While taking a break in writing my paper in Macromarketing, which is another story, I was chatting with some friends. Suddenly, my YM popped out of now where and there is this girl who sent me a message. She said "hola! quieres verme?" I was like, what the hell??? I think this dude got me by mistake. Then she spoke to me in English and asked me if I was Mexican, Columbian, Spanish or whatever.

When I said I was Filipino, she did not want to believe me. Yes, she turned out to be a she who was a hooker from the internet looking to do cybersex. She even sent me a photo when I accused her of bluffing. Anyway, I would not ever pay this kind of shit. I am not that desperate.

Back to the point, I am now in China and yes people mistake me for Chinese. Every time I tell someone I am Filipino, they would not believe me and now even in cyberspace no one does. I can not be Pocholo from Philippines.

What the hell can I be? It's crazy. People think I am a Chulo. I laughed about this over and over. I am not. Whatever people may think, what ever they say or what ver they do...

I AM POCHOLO AND I AM REALLY A FILIPINO! LIVE WITH IT! :D

My Obituary

2008-10-16T11:49:00.000-07:00

A lot of people are afraid to die. People think death is the end of everything. It is the time they lose everything they worked for, every dream they have, every moment of joy, every pain experienced, every failure cursed.

Not me. I am not afraid to die. I really am not. For me, an end of one thing is always a beginning of another. Beginning of what, I do not know. I am not dead. I am very much alive. Well I write this I am. Any time I can go. I was watching a TV series called Wonder Years. I used to watch it when I was in high school. One of my good friends downloaded it for me. On one episode, Kevin, the lead, and his classmates were asked by their teacher to write their own obituaries. At 12 years of age, one does not know what to write. Usually its filled with gibberish.

But this made me think. What if I die? What would I want to be written in that news article? I believe their teacher wanted to see what do those children wanted to be, how imaginative they can be. This inspired me to write my own. I do not know if this would be written though.

A lot of times I dreamed that I died, standing in my own wake, looking around who was there, how much flowers were there, who was crying, who was smiling. I see a lot of blurry faces. Believe it or not, after a while, those dreams recurred. Some faces revealed and some still blurred.

Some people may find it disturbing, dramatic or something. For me its reality. It will happen. Someday, somehow, we all have to face the music. And by the time it comes for me, I hope this is how people will remember me:

POCHOLO TAGLE NERI
11.03.84-xx.xx.xx

A true friend, a man who upheld his principles. He fought for what he think was right. A pioneer and on a class of his own. A great leader, a remarkable boss, a professional. A loving husband, a great father, an example to his brothers and an obedient son. His empire is to be succeeded by his eldest son. Loved by all. We will miss him.

Daily Routine

2008-10-14T01:38:00.000-07:00

Everyone has one. It can be both good and bad. Mine is that I cannot have a perfect day without drinking my coffee when I wake up. Irregardless of the time, I need my cup before I go. Even when I sleep somewhere else, I need that freaking coffee! After I need at least 30 minutes to do my bathroom stuff.

These stuff are essentials to me. I will have a really crappy day if I miss out on all of these. There are some though that will get you bored with your life.

Life is like a relationship, once you do things routinely, it loses its spark, excitement, the knot that makes you long for it. Deviating from routines are needed once in a while. That's what I need. I am a little bored with what I do here. As the week starts, I stay at home, preparing for classes come Thursdays and Fridays. If I finish my stuff early, I do nothing. Letting my mind wander. Come class days, I sit and stare at class. On weekends, I hang out with my friends.

Its the same shit over and over. I need some excitement. I am always trying to seize each day. But the thing is, there is nothing to seize.

Hence, I am bored!

Keeping Your Feet on the Ground

2008-10-13T09:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you think everything is perfect. Sometimes you think you are given a "god-like" talent and you can shape the universe. It seem like everything is going your way. You tend to be an arrogant ass that needs no one. You have it in your head that people have to like you and do things your way.

But there will always be times where you will fail. You will be grounded once more and you will wake up of that dream and realize that you are not God!

I just had that thing this past weekend. I am not God though I try to be. Its not because I am narcissistic, its because I am a perfectionist. I do things my way, my style, I live life like there is no tomorrow. I go for what I want, what I envision, what i long for.

I am rusty in a lot of things. I do a lot of things wrong nowadays. But the good thing is, failing let me re-evaluate, re-boot, re-organize. Failing makes me realize what I did wrong. It may be an epiphany of some sorts where I shine as I say these things but it is true.

I am changed. My screws are tight again and I am ready to play God once more. It does not mean I don't have my feet on the ground. I will play God but I know there is always one higher than me. There is always this guiding force. My boss so to speak. He is grooming me, he is injecting all there is to have. I will never outshine him, I will never be close but I will make my own mark.

Shrugging Rusts

2008-10-07T10:02:00.000-07:00

I have been out of school for 3 years. This explains my rust towards creating papers. Reports from work are different from school work. Blogging is different at the same time. When writing reports, you focus on the numbers that you crunch more than the words. Sometimes, the numbers speak for its own. Graphs tend to be pictures that explain a thousand words. Sometimes when I blog, I don't care about the continuity that I must make in order for the readers (if there are any) that are looking for. I just make it a journal of some sorts to release feelings that I want to let out. Sometimes I hide the meanings through poetry but I have this sense of relief at the end.

School papers are different. You have to please your audience, normally the professor who will grade your work. You have to be concise, knowledgeable, and assertive. Back in college, in Bachelor's I mean, you tend not to give it your all. I am also guilty of that. But now, since I recently found a way to take pride in what I do, I want to turn simple works into masterpieces. I want it to be perfect.

I normally do papers or reports for 15-20 minutes. I can still do that. But now it seems like I am never satisfied. I have gone through 3 revisions in the last 48 hours. My revisions, my criticisms, my pains. You know the saying that "you are your worst critic"? Well its very evident as of late.

I need to shrug this rust. I feel like a professional ball player coming of a championship reign preparing for the next season to start after a long hiatus. I need to catch fire. I am throwing shots. I want to hear that swoosh sound like a basketball going inside that cylinder touching nothing but net. I want to get that "Jordan Mentality". Play God! God of my work. I can never be God but I can try.

I need a break to set my mind and fire again. I need to clean my guns and hit my target in a few minutes. I need to be a sniper!

Incompetencies

2008-10-06T09:37:00.000-07:00

I hate incompetent people. I hate inferior products. I don't mean to rant but I was just so pissed off last night. I came home from another weekend hang out just to find out that they cut the electricity and water in the building I live in.

I asked around if there were notices given before hand and they said no. The people just gave the notices when the power was off. If it was an accident, they should have told us.

Then we asked when it will be turned back on... Guess what they told us 4 freaking syllables that I hated most 我不知道 (I don't know)!

I hated it! How can I take a bath before I sleep? How the hell can I do my morning rituals??? Good thing I had plenty of mineral water. I brushed my teeth using that water. Its one of the most expensive toothbrushes I had in my life!

The good thing was I did not have class nor had to go to work. Good thing I am not an early bird. Good thing they acted fast and restored power and before I woke up. I pity those who did not take a bath before going to class or work. I simply can't be like them.

Dazed and Confused

2008-09-28T11:05:00.000-07:00

One night I was happy, then I became sad,
A lot of the good things then became bad;
Given an opportunity then taken away,
Thought everything was free then they make you pay.

Person you wanted to kill suddenly dies,
Biggest achievements shrinking its size;
All the love suddenly turned to hate,
I know some of you can now relate.

You are given the knife and m.o. to attack,
You have the passwords for a system to hack;
No one is watching the background is black,
No one is there to hold you back.

What are you going yo do?
Which options should you pursue?
Do you have the essential clue?
Could I do it or could you?

By The Numbers

2008-09-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

7 Years since I graduated from high school
2 Degrees in college
3 Countries worked in

and the reason I wrote this,

2 Friends from different countries I caught up with today.

It has been 6 years since we saw each other
It has been 5 years since I talked to one of them even in the cyberspace
It has been 3 months since I talked to the other one.

We had gone a long way. I was surprised that my friend who barely speak Filipino did not want to speak to me in English. And now he speaks well. He is about to become a doctor. I would have never imagined in m wildest dreams to be friends with a cosmetic surgeon or orthopedist.

The other one who hated Mathematics back in the day found interest in Accounting and studies in one prestigious university in the West Coast. He also did filming and TV stuff for VH1! Sweet!

These 2 are like brothers to me. The funny thing is when we talked, it was like we just saw each other yesterday. There are more stories than usual but I did not feel like we grew apart from each other. True we are not the hyenas that we were before but the bond remained.

I was also happy that we will see each other during the Yuletide Season. Its something I would not miss. Its crazy to think that this 3 guys used to be perverts, slackers, childish boys turned into men. Men that are responsible for their actions and have great goals. Sure, our inner child is still there preparing to do stupid things.

In our original "clique" so to speak, there is one married with a cute kid and runs a popular company in the Philippines, one grad student in China who has tremendous experience under his belt, one film and art student in California who did stuff for great companies in Hollywood and one soon to be successful doctor.

Who would imagine, who would have known. These goofy guys would achieve so much. I am proud of all of us. I am very happy as of now on what we achieved. I cannot wait until December. I cannot wait in 10 years!

Immersion 101

2008-09-11T20:39:00.000-07:00

Do you know how to say supply and demand in Chinese? What about Marketing, Sales, organizational management? Have you ever seen a teacher wearing shorts and slippers in class?
These are some of the things that happened during my first week of class.

It was a crazy and boring first week for me. Crazy since I never expected to see a lot of new things in class and boring since I did not understand any of my lessons.

Learning basic Chinese is one thing but taking a degree in it, well Masters degree to be exact, is another.

Once I attended class I was reunited with my best friend, my English-Dictionary. I kept of searching all the possible words that may alienate me from the class. Besides my dictionary, there is someone that is guiding me. Thanks Jiahui!

I stared at the teacher for 3 hours and pretended I was listening. I tried to grasp all that I can grasp but it was tough. The good news is I can write my paper in English. I just need to translate my Chinese lessons and find other sources I can understand.

Next class came which featured a professor wearing shorts and slippers. I asked my classmate if it was normal to wear such. She answered me, "他是怎么厉害的老师!" It is like seeing Dr. House giving a lecture. He got the class going. Even if I did not understand much, I did not get bored since he was asking me stuff like POS and SMART questions.

He even geve me a free hand to write or not to write reports. hahaha!!!

Today I just finished my Microeconomics class. It was tough but I am surprised I understood half of the lesson. Now I know why my teachers in college were so arrogant. They were that good! I understood all the graphs without the need of explaination. I saw my classmate checking out what I was writing and was surprised that I got ahead of the teacher. Hahaha!!!

A week has passed, a few more to go. Hope it will be smooth!

Kudos to the DLSU Economics Faculty Department!

Blast From The Past

2008-09-09T10:01:00.000-07:00

Its always surprising getting a hold of someone whom you haven't been in touch for a very long time. It is even more surprising when the try to get a hold of you even you are separated from miles apart. There are people whom you never expected to talk again given certain circumstances.

To me, this happened last night. I talked to someone whom I grew apart with. Someone whom I never expected to talk again. After college, there are some people you may feel that you will never speak to.

But it was completely different. We picked up were we left off. It seemed like nothing changed that we both felt a little weird. Words cannot comprehend what I felt. Its a mixture of sheer joy and regret. Maybe its just the way it is.

It seems odd that you think you are completely happy then something strikes you and you don't know what to feel.

Whatever it is, I may never know. But it is always nice to hear from someone from the past irregardless of any circumstance.

Challenge 101

2008-09-04T23:24:00.000-07:00

I may be here for a year now but yet I am back being a new student. I was used to the "MyLaSalle" system that I used in enlisting my subjects and enrolling the past 5 years of my college life. Now its kind of similar but with one catch, its in Chinese!

Sure I can utter a few things here and there but not as complex as this. Good thing I have a mentor that can speak English and had international experience and met 2 nice people who are willing to assist me. The only thing bothering me is I don't like people to babysit me. I had been never dependent my whole life. Why start now?

Indeed this is a challenge that I have to face.

Besides this, all my lectures are going to be in Chinese. With a program like mine with a lot of jargon, words that are not taught in basic Chinese classes, well it will be a challenge. Exposure to international business will never suffice since there is a language barrier that I must overcome.

Truly these endeavors are critical for my next 3 years here.

Too Much TV!

2008-09-03T23:38:00.000-07:00

It is still summer vacation. Nothing to do, no one to talk to. Most of my friends are yet to come back from their homes. I am stuck with a few people here in my dorm. Although I have some close friends here, they have their own lives to live. I moved to a new room, no internet and no one to bug.

What did I do?

Watch TV! I recently bought a bunch of DVDs a few weeks back. Although I can watch a lot of movies, I chose not to. I was just not in the mood. I stuck on TV series. I was watching this series called House M.D. An ass doctor who does everything he wants because he is that good. Defying rules, diagnosing the undiagnosable, keeping a charm to attract nice looking ladies.

How do you know that you watched too much TV? Well try this one out. I finished 1 season in 2 days. 2 seasons in 5 days. People might say its doable. How can you be so bored? Right?

It's just too much. I was talking to a friend on the phone the other night and she told me one of her girlfriends is sick. I asked her, "What was the diagnosis of her doctor?" and the followed up with, "Did they check for a tumor? If it is benign, I thin its ok..." and lastly, "Maybe its not a tumor, maybe its something else, maybe they need to MRI her."

What the f*ck is happening to me? I hated Science when I was a kid, I did not go to medical school. What's different? My personal diagnosis, TOO MUCH TV!!!

Slacker

2008-09-03T23:24:00.000-07:00

It's been a year since I got here. A year since I really worked my ass off. Play time is over. Time to start anew.

New year, new beginning, new faces, new experiences. To top all that I got a new room. More peace, better view, better toilet, better balcony.

Slacking is all I did in my first year. Sure I passed, sure I survived but the thing is sometimes just right is just not enough. When I was a kid people always view me as a smart ass. This got me into a lot of trouble when I was young. I had clean cut hair, glasses and was nice. Once I realized that's not enough, I cut my hair and wear contacts. Most of the time people think I am stupid. I like that. It's not because I am but its because I like to show them how wrong they really are.

During my first year here, people think either I am stupid, lazy or ignorant. Then they were surprised when I do something above average. Even if I was not satisfied of what I did, it tend to make them say wow. Funny, entertaining. It's like I have puppets that I can play with. I can manipulate them, I can make them agree, I can make them dance.

Looks can deceive a lot of people. Never judge a book by its cover. I may be guilty of this at times but I try to control myself.

A year has passed, a few more to go, what will happen next? Well no one knows. We will see... we will find out...

Will the slacker die or will he survive. Will the genius shine or blend in the crowd...

Silence is Golden yet Annoying

2008-08-26T05:44:00.000-07:00

I like to keep my peace at times. I like to be alone and contemplate on whats happening to me. I like some peace so that I can concentrate. I hate it when some bastards in my building are noisy at night until 4 in the morning. Good thing those bastards when home for vacation. I hope they don't come back...

But on the other side of things, it is just too quiet here. Nobody is here in my building. They won't be back for a week more. Only Africans are here who opted not to go home since it is too expensive to go back to their countries (Thank God for Cebu Pacific). Nevertheless, those who are really close to me are still home... And my Pinoy friends live farther than where I am staying.

Now I am bored! It is too freaking quiet. Silence that is ear shattering. A silence that would make one go crazy... I need to take a walk. I need some noise...

Then and now...

2008-08-26T05:28:00.000-07:00

I had been always fond of writing my thoughts but for some reason I did not have time for a long while... I tend to start things without finishing them. I think I have to change that. I am starting a new blog. A fresh start. It's never to late anyway.

I have been here for almost 1 year... Well minus the fact that I go home often, well let's just stick with the year. I have learned a lot, seen a lot of things I did not expect to see, hear things I never thought of hearing,

Learning a new language is though. Especially since there are tones. Sometimes even if you mean well people will misinterpret you for being rude... You will be surprised how easy it is to mispronounce saying good morning "zao shang hao" and ended up saying like f*ck up ok "cao shang hao".

But besides all that, you will be able to adjust to the culture that they have. If you have the motivation to learn their language, you will survive.

I would not say that I am fluent but I can survive in the wild. I would not say I gave my all during my first year. Maybe its because I have 2 diplomas already and I spent 5 years in college. But it is not an excuse. That is why I am here in the first place. I need to get to work.

I would not say that I will be the best student here but I will finish what I started. I would not be contented by just passing. I will be something else. I did it before and I will do it again, all I need to do is focus.

Its a new start. Let's get it on!